I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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