And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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