Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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