Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
