i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
