i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
he was CRYING into my vagina
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize