I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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