Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
