On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
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