He kissed a someone with a penis
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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