I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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