Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
