It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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