not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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