Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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