ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
