He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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