I'm drive I can fine osifer
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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