Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
