I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
She's just so happy...and so naked.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
