lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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