Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
