im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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