I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
