This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
