Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
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