I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
