Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
