She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
