I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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