I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I FOUND THE LEGS
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
