I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
