your room smells of hookers.
And success
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
