Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
