Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I faked an abortion last night.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize