Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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