hell yes lets make some ravioli
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
