ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
jump out the window naked night went bad
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
