I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
