The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Why are your pants in the freezer?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
