yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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