Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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