This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
