drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
God, you're like boner-b-gone
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
