too bad you live with your parents still
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
