how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
