Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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