We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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