I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
