He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
