Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
