I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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