my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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