I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
