Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
