I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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