we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
