my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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